Tips for Taking NTSI's On-Line Traffic School... Arizona Style
(updated on June 1, 2004 per NTSI's "request"... read on for details)
You might wonder why I took this course, which is proven to so problematic?
First, I found that Arizona reports traffic violations to California (refer to Nolo Press’s “Fight Your Ticket and Win”), and I didn’t want my 90 MPH stint to appear on my CA driving record. I could either take the course on-line or in Arizona. And I find my home somewhat more comfortable than some dingy classroom in Yuma.
Second, I actually needed to address this out-of-state violation, as I do visit AZ a couple times a year. Should you fail to pay a a traffic violation in any state other than your own, you will receive a Failure to Appear in that state. But as you haven't entered a guilty plea, the violation remains alleged, and won't appear as a point on your record, at least as long as such concepts as "innocent until proven guilty" and "speeding tickets don't fall under the Patriot Act" remain in effect. But you can be subject to arrest if caught in that state again! (Refer also to "Fight Your Ticket and Win")
So, ready to attend home-arrest traffic school? Beforehand...
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Don’t even think of taking the course using a dial-up modem, a Mac, or anything less than a P-III PC. The course was finicky at times, even on my new P4 PC running XP.
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Have a phone handy, as well as the NTSI’s toll-free number. You’ll need it if the course crashes or you otherwise are rudely disqualified from the course. Chances are, this will happen a couple of times. It did to me.
Then, get ready to learn some Arizona arcana! For example, did you know that women have a slower reaction time than men? That teenagers left alone in cars could be kidnapped and sold into prostitution? That walking is the best tranquilizer? Or that “alcohol related crashes in the United States cost the public more than $110,000 billion in 1998"? Really! The entire global economy in 1998 went to payment of damages caused by sloshed US maniacs! No wonder why so many countries objected to NAFTA!
Screen shot from a typical course page
showing typical course nonsense. Only 1 min 40 seconds remaining to
read e-mails!
Giving some credit to NTSI, from an e-mail that I received from an unknown NTSI sender "ajensen@ntsi.us":
"It would appear that the correct value is infact $110 billion
total cost in 1998. I believe that this error was due to a misprint in the findings of the 1999 original study from which this was taken; "Injuries from Alcohol: Incidence and Cost" by Miller et al, of PIRE (Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation, www.pire.org). The $110,000 billion figure has been widely republished as such."... which would suggest that common sense is lacking outside of the hallowed halls of NTSI as well.
Anyway, you're required to suffer through at least 5 1/2 hours of coursework. A timer on each page tells you the minimum time remaining that you have to suffer through a page, of which there are 45 or so. Including a few glitches and two calls to NTSI, I completed the course in two sessions, covering about 6 1/2 hours.
Survival guide:
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At the start of each module/topic page, wait a few seconds for a pop-up to appear. It demands an answer to one of the 20 "personal questions" you were asked when you signed up for the course. Answer it, and answer it right, or you’ll have to call the NTSI’s 800 number to get the course restarted. For some reason, my course seemed to be stuck on "Are you afraid of heights?"
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As the “Time Left” clock ticks down, answer your e-mails otherwise entertain yourself. In one particularly long stretch of boredom, I wrote this page. Just make sure that you don't leave the computer unattended for more than five minutes after the clock has counted down to zero, or you'll be calling NTSI to get restarted in the course. Plus, as soon as that clock strikes zero, you'll want to move on anyway.
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And when the clock does strike zero, answer the question at the bottom of the page. It doesn't have to be the right answer, either... just click a box.
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Repeat 1 – 3 until your sentence is served.
You'll have to take a test, either at a NTSI facility (if you're in AZ) or in the presence of a notary. The "You need to know this question..." questions all appear on this test, as do another set of 25 questions culled from the text. The notary will indicate that you took the test in his presence and give it back to you. For some reason, you're then allowed to mail the test at your leisure, presumably after checking to make sure you got enough of the answers right to pass.
I used to have the my scanned answers on this page. Ray, NTSI's IT manager, called me to request their removal, stating they they were "property of the Arizona Supreme Court." Ray mentioned that some NTSI folks would have to drive from Tuscon to Phoenix to initiate some sort of legal action if I didn't comply. Ray seemed like a nice enough guy and told me that he liked my Corvette, so I agreed to remove the offending pages. All that bad grammar that would make your 7th grade English teacher wince -- "you're vehicle wheels should be," "a driver should use the vehicles high beams," etc. -- you'll have to enjoy that in private.
You'd think with all the talk of how "this program is regulated by the Arizona Supreme Court," they'd hire a proofreader and fact-checker.
Good luck, and may your house arrest go smoothly!
And now for the fine
print: I am not a lawyer, and neither are you, so what you see on this
page cannot be construed as legal advice. This page is solely intended to
aid people in successfully completing the on-line course. Course
materials are copyrighted by NTSI, even the wrong stuff. Don't drink and
drive. Don't drink and drive fast. Car contains small parts.
Not suitable for children under 3. Not to be used as a flotation device.
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[about Erik's Vette, which
has something to do with why I had to take traffic school...]