Tales of the Caribbean
What follows is the story of my January '96 trip, which began as
a Caribbean cruise and ended as a business trip to the Palm Beach, FL area.
Please note that all opinions expressed here are entirely my own, and are
not those of this station nor its sponsors. With that in mind. . .
San Juan, P.R.
I arrived with Sheila, the [then] love of my life, in San Juan at about 1pm Saturday 1/13 after catching the red-eye 1am flight from LAX. After picking up a car at the airport, we braved the San Juan traffic and headed for the Condado Plaza Hotel. Although the hotel was magnificent and the kind desk clerk got us a great corner room with ocean view, it was wildly overpriced, as we found everything to be in the Condado and Old San Juan areas of the city. The hotel is situated on a lagoon with a nice public beach. Tropical fish crowded around the rocky and grassy areas of the generally waist-deep lagoon; I saw a juvenile moray eel and another snorkeler saw a squid. Not bad for being in a industrial downtown area!For dinner we ventured to Amadeus, a small, noisy eclectic cafe in Old San Juan, then wandered the streets of Old San Juan with many of the locals enjoying the warm evening. Later we visited our hotel's casino; it surprisingly non-smoky and not featured very prominently within the hotel (I'm used to Las Vegas). Everyone was dressed pretty classy, too, which was a pleasant departure from the Nevada scene.
The Fun Ship
We boarded Carnival's Festivale on Sunday. This ship is the oldest of Carnival's Fun Ship flotilla, and it shows [Note: it's since been sold to the Dolphin cruise line for a leisurely retirement]. The ship did present some of the elegance of the Queen Mary (of Long Beach, CA) -- polished wood and brass -- but has an overabundance of fake wood paneling reminiscent of a Brady Bunch rec room. The crew: international and very friendly. Our stateroom: not bad sized, although it was an inside cabin and we couldn't tell day or night. The ride: once the ship left the harbor and into the unsheltered Caribbean, the wind picked up, the waves grew, the ship creaked and moaned, and the crowds in the public areas grew pale-faced and vanished. By the way, a dose 'o' Bonine (Meclezine HCl) is a great preventative OTC preventative strike to motion sickness . . . and doesn't make you the least bit tired!Grumpiest Old Men
About a third of the passengers were the elderly, overfed variety that fits the unfortunate stereotype of the American tourist: socks pulled up to the knee, loud, and whiny as hell. For being in a beautiful tropical environment, little things like dinner served a few minutes late sure set off this segment of the populace.We changed dining tables after the first night.
St. Thomas & St. John, USVI
After a rough night at sea, we awoke in port in Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas.We headed for a ferry at the municipal waterfront for the 45 minute, $7 trip to St. John. On the way, we saw several wrecked ships on the rocks, snapped trees, houses with blue tarps on the roofs, and other hurricane evidence. Local folks we spoke with had lost their homes.
Arriving in St. John, we took a pickup-truck taxi to Trunk Bay, a U.S. National Park. Trunk bay is a fabulous white crescent of sand set with coconut palm trees. Huge hermit crabs dined on fallen coconut, as did these scurrying creatures that looked like ferrets. Our main attraction to Trunk Bay was the renowned underwater snorkeling trail, and arriving at 10am, we had the whole thing almost to ourselves.
The underwater trail follows a series of three buoys on the surface. At the ocean bottom are stone markers -- almost looking like gravestones -- describing the flora and fauna, and offering tips like "don't touch the coral." Unfortunately, the ocean was still a little stirred up from the night before and a lot of sand was suspended in the water, bringing the usual 100 + foot visibility down to only a few feet. We still were able to view a lot of the markers and see some of the fish indicated. We spent nearly the whole day in this tropical paradise and headed back on the last ferry to Charlotte Amalie at 3:45 pm.
At the grocery store in Charlotte Amalie, rum cost less than Coke on an ounce for ounce basis (guess which got brought back to the ship). The clerks at the store were very friendly in getting a traveler's check approved and even the people in line had a lively conversation with us regarding the hurricane, current state of the island, how we won't be able to tolerate another California beach after visiting Trunk Bay, etc.
High Stakes on the High Seas
I guess one of the big money-makers for cruise ship operators is the casino. That's what they think.I had just taught Sheila most of the ins & outs of Blackjack, and she was ready to give it a try. A couple of the ship's dealers were really inexperienced . . . not just in dealing the cards but also in counting card totals, which occasionally worked in the favor of the players (and was promptly brought to the dealer's attention when it didn't). One dealer would always forget to ask for "insurance" when he had an ace showing and would look at his card first. Then he'd ask, but by the expression on his face (big eyes = blackjack) you could tell whether insurance was a good idea. Slots didn't pay off nearly as generously as blackjack; however, it was fun to pull the handle just as the ship lurched and crested a wave, to see if the motion would cause something fortuitous to happen.
Sint. Maartin & Sunken Treasure
The following day we docked on the Dutch side of the French/Dutch St. Martin/Sint. Maaaaartin. Sheila and I opted for a ship-sponsored snorkeling adventure to "shipwreck cove." Just outside of Phillipsburg is a cove where many ships sank during the fall hurricane. I would not recommend this particular adventure, however: the excursion sponsors led everyone through the water like a herd of floating cattle, with everyone wearing uncomfortable fluorescent inflatable life vests (mandatory!). However, the ocean floor in some points was just covered in ship parts, including pieces of hull, masts, etc., about 15-20 feet down. It was just a little difficult to dive down and check out the wreckage up close with this semi-deflated Donald Duck floatie wrapped around my chest, though. Maybe that was the idea.Dominica, the Rain Forest Isle
Carnival allowed us about 5 hours ashore on Dominica. Rather than follow the cattle call of Carnival, we took a taxi-van tour up about 3000 feet into the rain forest. Dominica only receives 2 cruise ships per week, and still appears as what I would assume the Caribbean appeared before the advent of the cruise ship and its cargo of rotund whiny folks. Our driver Simon (yes, he told us "Simon Says") gave us a harrowing road adventure on steep hills and narrow turns on one-lane-wide roads, ending up at the unfortunately overcrowded "Emerald Pool." The pool is formed by a shimmering waterfall and is fun for swimming. The walk through the rainforest and the views off the rim of the trail just as wonderful. Sheila and I took another loop trail to see more before returning to the van; when we did get there, everyone was waiting rather impatiently. Then it was time for a hair-raising on-two-wheels plummet down the mountain.Barbados and Jolly Roger Rehab
Thursday morning found us docked in Barbados. We took a taxi into Bridgetown for breakfast/lunch and then down to Rockley Beach a few minutes out of town. Rockley Beach is a nice strip of sand (featured on many postcards), lined with coconut palms, some houses, and a seaside bar (pub? this was a British isle) that offered cold Banks beer, brewed locally. We found everyone we met -- taxi drivers, folks on the beach, even the beachside jewelry salesman -- to be exceptionally friendly and polite. Rockley beach is actually quite sandy except at one end where rocks sheltered some small angelfish and sergeant majors (yellow and black striped small fish).We needed to return to the port in the afternoon to join up with the Jolly Roger excursion, which was highly recommended by others who had been to Barbados. (Some time later, I'd be notified of a Jolly Roger horror story; I'll provide a link to that soon). We boarded the Jolly Roger, a pirate galleon complete with sails, plank, skull and crossbones, and music cranking so loud you almost couldn't hear or feel the engines that drove this authentic, uh, pirate ship. Then the rum punch began to flow from bottomless caskets.
After a time at sail (and after everyone had thrown their respective three sheets to the wind), the Jolly Roger pulled up along side a clear-water cove and beach, where we had the option of going snorkeling, swinging from a rope, walking the plank, etc. Sheila and I decided to rent a jet-ski from someone who pulled up next to the boat. Later he would chastise us ("no b.s. on my ski, mon") for tearing around on the thing, but hey, what do you expect from trying to rent motorized equipment to folks who have had an hour's fill of rum?
The Jolly Roger returned a boatload of rum-pickled dancin' machines to the dock. Although we had until 10pm in the port, Sheila and I never made it back ashore from the Festivale: a post-Roger nap lasted well into the evening. Later we heard of one woman who was found asleep aboard the Jolly Roger; the crew carried her back to the Festivale (presumably her ship), and pinned a sign to her asking "Who Am I?"
Martinique, the Friendly Isle
Saturday morning we awoke from a rum-fuzzed sleep in the port of Fort-de-France, Martinique. I ventured into town to get postage stamps, film, and bread. I think Sheila needed some bread to soak up the remaining rum in her system.Fort-de-France has much of the charm I'd expect to find in Paris: beautiful downtown park, a cathedral, narrow streets, folks ranging from indifferent to downright rude to American tourists, etc. In all, meeting up with others from our cruise, we concluded that the city had some of the scenery of Paris, but certainly all of the attitude. The latter was quite a shock after the warm welcome and kind conversation we'd had with the residents of all the other islands we'd visited. I found it hard to believe that these Martinique'ers (Martiniquois?) could go about their daily living with such sour looks in such a warm tropical paradise. At all other ports, I felt like a welcomed guest on their island. On Martinique, I felt the only chill I experienced that whole week in the warm Caribbean -- from the cold glances of the residents.
That afternoon, we boarded a ship-arranged snorkeling excursion to a cove across the bay from Fort-de-France. The crew of this ship was very informative and had charts and pictures to help us identify fish and coral species. The crew was (surprisingly) very friendly too -- even to those of us that don't parley-vous.
The snorkeling was wonderful -- beginning at a lovely beach, we swam out along a rocky crevice which was encrusted with such a wide variety of tropical marine life -- corals of all shapes and sizes, flanked by huge schools of fish, independent coral-nibbling fish of every color, eels, and the like. As an added bonus, this snorkeling expedition had so much more freedom than the one we took in St. Maartin. No uncomfortable life vests, no waivers to sign, no herding of the snorkelers.
Afterwards, our boat crew took us to another cove with two caves, both full of bats. We swam to the mouth of the caves and glanced up at the wall-to-wall crowd of hanging bats, who would fly out in small groups. Underwater, another spectacular scene.
Sadly, this experience was over after only three hours. I'll miss the incredible snorkeling, but not Martinique itself!
The Tale of the Thrice Bumped
On Sunday we docked back in San Juan and set out for the airport for the return trip. I was heading to Miami for work related stuff; Sheila was on her way back to Los Angeles on the same flight segment. The flight was overbooked by two seats, Sheila and I quickly got the flight attendant's attention and were herded off the aircraft to receive a $400 flight credit each. Unfortunately, the plane backed away from the gate before a couple from Italy could take our just-vacated seats.Sheila was sent on her way to LAX through Dallas. However, the next flight to Miami for me was overbooked, also. And the next. Finally, four hours later and carrying $950 in AA credit, I was off to Miami. I've spent a lot worse 4 hours in an airport!
On a sad note. . . one of the cocktail waitresses from our cruise was also aboard that fourth and final flight to Miami. She told me she was fired just that day; reason unknown to her. She was one of our favorite Carnival employees -- fun and wacky, with her own tasty 'surprise drinks.' Now she was removed from the life she'd led for over a year, and under the close supervision of Carnival staff, was being ushered onto a flight back to her homeland of Lithuania after arrival in Miami. The poor girl frequently made gestures with her arms like she was handcuffed. (By the way, Carnival pays these employees a grand $45 per month . . . the rest of it comes from tips. One wrong step, and you're deported)
South Fla
I drove north to Singer Island, FL from Miami that night and did some work-related stuff Monday and Tuesday in the greater Palm Beach area. This was one of my many 1995-96 trips to this area; I'll probably put together a Tales of Florida someday to chronicle my (non-work-related) adventures there.On Tuesday, while not-so-patiently waiting for some paperwork to be completed, I had the chance to explore the strait between Singer Island and the mainland by Sea-Doo (OK, it was a Polaris). There are manatee reserve areas you can cruise through at slow, slow speed, but I didn't see any of the creatures. Out in the more open areas, I thoroughly enjoyed tearing around the Intercoastal Waterway and jumping boat wakes. Then I did stop by the office later picked up what I needed to before departing to Miami that afternoon.
Recommendations
For those planning a Carnival cruise aboard the Festivale, or just visiting the region in general, here's my list of pros and cons based on my experiences:Do it:
- Visit: Old San Juan, PR; St. John, USVI; Rain forests of Dominica (esp. with more time on your hands!); Barbados beaches; snorkeling just about anywhere (but ask if the ship-sponsored ones require life vests and "herding")
- Do the Sun&Snorkel Adventure (~$27US in Martinique)
- Buy:Rum (PR, USVI or Barbados), or homemade flavored rum (yum! St. Maartin); misc. handcrafted trinkets (Dominica) & handmade jewelry (Barbados)
- Eat: The late night buffets. Also order more than one entree per meal (they aren't that big and nobody seems to mind!)
- Save some cash (you should have a nice handful after taking advantage of the casino) to tip these guys who've been busting their buns to serve you the past week. That week could be their last before being sent back to the old country.
- Meet the captain! Get a shot of the captain!
- Keep in touch with the folks at your dinner table!
And bring that rum aboard to make your own drinks!
Don't do it:
- Setting foot on land in Martinique (they obviously don't need your time . . or money). Oh, you're excused if you're taking the few steps to board the Sun & Snorkel Adventure.
- Buy the awful photos that the boat crew takes, seemingly of every move you make on the ship. I wouldn't be surprised to have seen one ready for me to step out of the shower. But do take plenty of your own!
- Let any whiny old-folks' bad moods carry over to you. Remember, if they're blocking the stairs, take the elevator. If they gripe during dinner, get another table!
- Have expectations that the Festivale is a neon-lit jewel
- Try to cram too much into six islands and seven days at sea.
And courtesy of the bumping policies and generosity of American Airlines, later that year I'd find myself in Bonaire, Netherlands Antilles and Cancun. Those travels would be sans Sheila -- now that's a sad tale -- but did turn out to be real adventures themselves.
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Complaints? Need s'more info? Mail to es (at) cpkv.com
The History of Tales of the Caribbean
A couple months after I wrote these Tales, Carnival sold the Festivale to Dolphin Cruise Lines. I since heard she changed hands a few more times and I don't know what waters she might be plying today. Sure, a lot has happened in the cruise industry in the past three years, but I think many of the themes I wrote about will hold true for some time.
As for the 'net, three years might as well be a millennium. And over that expanse of time, Tales of the Caribbean, the first comprehensive trip report I ever submitted on the internet, has manifested itself in a few forms.
After recovering from the cruise and the subsequent strenuous business trip, I put my adventures on paper and submitted Tales of the Caribbean in three easy pieces to the Travel-L bitnet mailing list. A fellow named Dr. Memory -- whose real name escapes me and whose web pages are extinct -- assembled the pieces and posted the Tales in his compilation site called Dr. Memory's Favorite Travel Pages. After learning the finer aspects of Html in about July '96, I presented the Tales on my own Earthlink web page, where it lived for a good couple years and provoked many an e-mailed comment (the most frequent topic being my treatment or mistreatment of Martinique, for which pro and non ran about equal).
Now the Tales have found another home -- on my new tripEEE.com site. One can only guess what the course of evolution and the forces of erosion will bring to Tales of the Caribbean in the future. Perhaps a pretty framed document? A different background? Relegation to some deeper plane of obscurity? Who knows.
But I'd wouldn't expect my opinion of Martinique to change.
-Erik, founder of tripEEE.com, 3/22/99.
 |
Jump on back
to tripEEE.com
For adventure in Cancun, why not try Tales from the Yucatan?
|
Tales of the Caribbean is c. 1996, 1999.